inseine | VIDEO ✍ 008 --> Lari's Return from Hiatus

You like this too much, you imp!

[The voice snaps in from stage left.]

You slipped me something last night! Was it in the wine? What did you want from it? My hair and whiskers do not feel any shorter this time.

[So grouchy, husband.

Though he can't see it, Naomi is already on her way out of her laboratory to come and release him from this potentially embarrassing scenario.]

I did no such thing. [Fond memory though.] You've been dead asleep for over a week now, hogging the entire bed to yourself.

I should have gotten my own revenge just for that while I had the chance.

[That is a sobering thought, and the foot abruptly stills. A brief silence reigns.]

A week, [Javert breathes dryly from off-screen. The bed mattress creaks, and there is a light rattle from the gift Naomi did bestow on him in his sleep.] A splitting migraine and a sore wrist for a week! Apparently the rest does me no good.

Tell me! Have I gotten the boot for my absence? Where is my pink slip?

[Oh, stop being so melodramatic, Javert. And by the way, the sore wrist is a pretty new edition.]

No, of course not. Your bitch of a wife made a call to the Chief Prosecutor to explain your absence the moment I saw what was going on. And then I made sure to send those reports and files you'd brought home right back to the office for them to deal with.

[Another wretched, stark silence, as if the man were dealt a hefty, befuddling blow. That is rather thoughtful of her, isn't it? Damn it, confusing woman, does he have cause to be enraged with you or not?

But wait! Perhaps she had an ulterior motive for such actions. Javert, after all, is not known to soften or go easy when he awakes in a sour mood.

He eventually breaks the silence with a burst of dry, crackling laughter. The foot, still visible through the video feed, twitches.]

Yes, you speak privately to my superior with all of my paperwork. You wanted to neatly arrange an extended absence then! And so long as I cannot reach this damn Dreamberry--[his toes stretch as if to emphasize the point]--it seems I am woefully at your mercy. Did I neglect you recently? Enough to earn time as your prisoner? Ha, ha!

Well, your prank is finished. I am awake and uncomfortable. Do you have the key to this -- [a rattling of chains] -- with you?

[The sharp clicking of her heels on pavement comes to an abrupt halt, the woman silently casting a look to her husband..'s foot through the Dreamberry. Thank goodness she really loves you or she'd have to glance away again.]

What good are you to me asleep? [Javert can likely hear the smile in her voice by now before Naomi resumes her walk towards home. Only a few minutes away now.] If this really was all my doing, don't you suspect that you waking up would only be the beginning? What point could I possibly make by pulling you out of work to sleep for a week?

[And he should know this coy tone of hers by now.] Perhaps. I hope I haven't misplaced the key on accident.

Edited 2011-07-31 19:59 (UTC)

Perhaps it is that the depths of your depravity is bottomless. Then I would have some use to you asleep, [he retorts. The banter may be a welcome amusement on most days, but he does so much prefer to have the upper hand in any exchange.]

You tease, [sniffs Javert tersely.] Well, you did not leave them under the pillows. I have already checked. Are you coming here now? You should, before I ruin our headboard. I cannot stay here.

Edited 2011-08-01 13:12 (UTC)

[Naomi, perceptive wife that she is, can pick up on just how increasingly irritated her dear husband is getting. Though, to be perfectly honest, she'd likely be feeling exactly the same way if handcuffed tightly to her bed both naked and very alone.

So she'll let his retort drop. This time.]

Don't hurt yourself, [Naomi says quickly, that playful tone dropping for a brief moment. That was exactly what she was trying to avoid by doing this in the first place.] I'm already coming to free you up.

Already anxious to get on patrol? You can't spare a single moment for me?

Needy tart! [snaps Javert. Naomi may be able to hear the roll of his eyes.] You know you will have me to yourself by nightfall, yet you are still unhappy to let me go!

[The chain from the handcuff rattles. Javert bends down, attempting to peer into the video screen grimly.]

You slept beside me all week. I have been absent from duty for the same amount of time. I will not keep it waiting longer than necessary.

[Sorry, Naomi: the Law will always be Javert's first mistress. He adds as an afterthought,]

--Nor will I give the von Karma woman the satisfaction of a good reason to dismiss me. That irritates me.

Is that such a bad thing? Or would you really prefer that I celebrate every morning the moment you are out the door? [With a strapping young man? Or a particularly handsome Cardinal?]

And don't take it personally, but sleeping isn't exactly what I had in mind.

[Thankfully for Javert, their shared condo is only a few blocks away from the doctor's remodeled laboratory. Naomi is already on their street and closing in.]

Well, from everything that you've said about her to me, I doubt you arriving at any time would keep her mouth from running.

Good God, I don't intend to abandon you! It is not her mouth but my conscience that concerns me! I pledged my duty to the law, and I will not abuse my station of authority here. You understood this! I should not need to explain!

[Though it is unexpectedly nice to know that his own wife does not celebrate upon his departure for work every morning. He can probably count the number of other people who can honestly claim the same on one hand.]

Besides, the day will pass quickly. It is already nearing noon, isn't it?

Edited 2011-08-03 18:18 (UTC)

[And then there is that distinct click of the Dreamberry being turned off suddenly.]

What difference does a workday make?--

[And then the telltale click. He frowns, bending down to peer at the Dreamberry from afar.]

Naomi?

[And in a barely-audible mutter,]

Incredible! Damn it all! She will want some well-oiled pandering tonight. To keep me prisoner like a gutter rat...

[In less than five minutes, Javert will hear the familiar sound of a key being turned into the front entrance's durable lock and a door being quickly opened and shut. A pair of heels clicks sharply across the floor and pauses at the bedroom doorway. And there she was, the Chief Inspector's loving wife, Naomi Javert.

The doctor unintentionally freezes for a moment by the door, dark eyes fixed on his face thoughtfully. It's a sweet relief to finally see her husband awake and arguing with her again. Though sleep comas happen often and usually are finished within a week, that knowledge really isn't enough to ease a woman's concern about the man she loves being dead asleep to the world for ten entire days.

Finally, a smile slips onto her lovely face. In a few graceful movements, Naomi has seated herself on the edge of the bed beside her husband.]

Miss me? [she purrs. That small hand of hers moves to rest on his chest lightly. Yes, the woman is well aware that she won't get a decent greeting back until he is set free from the bedpost, but that won't stop her from trying.]

[And there is Javert, stark naked with nothing but a sheet to preserve his dignity. Yet he still manages to make himself look both bored and imperious, his severe stare fixed on his wife, a brow arched expectantly. He does not react to her touch, not even with the slightest twitch.

At least he looks stern rather than enraged.

Javert calmly lifts his cuffed arm with a pointed look. Luckily for them both, the headboard has not yet sustained any damage. His Dreamberry remains switched on at the foot of the bed.]

Well?

Well, I had hoped to get a warmer welcome than that, but I'll forgive it this time. I know how grouchy you get with too much sleep. [And with one of her usual darling smiles, the woman leans over to pull open the drawer of the small bedside table that contains a few of her things. Her personal things. See, the key was right within reach, Javert. She just didn't expect him to ever go rooting through her stuff.

However, after a moment or two of shuffling those items around, Naomi's smile drops.]

... [Oh dear.]

[Javert's face is the equivalent of an impassive black line, his eyes boring unflinchingly and indifferently into hers. He will not give an inch to his wife until she frees him from these leopard print handcuffs.

--The exception being the drop of that smug smile from her face. That is enough to elicit a wry, bemused twitch at the corner of his mouth. This predicament is getting to be quite ridiculous, isn't it?]

What is that expression? [he asks in a low voice.] Are you joking with me? In that drawer! You said you have got it with you.

[He arches a brow, eyes drifting thoughtfully toward the ceiling, as cool and resplendently composed as always. At least he does not quite seem to be angry now that his wife has finally made her entrance.]

Though I suppose I shall settle for a saw. If the key is really lost.

[Immediately the act drops, Naomi's dark eyes rolling back in annoyance.]

You just love to ruin my fun, don't you? How boring. [And voilà, the lovely doctor pulls the supposedly missing key out of her lab coat pocket.

It's only a quick click later that Javert's poor arm is finally free.]

[Javert grasps the helping hand with an intent stare and plucks the key from her fingers. He'll be holding on to that--and the handcuff, while he's at it.]

Yes, I am a very dull fellow, indeed.

[The impassivity and intensity drops instantaneously, a smirk pulling his lips taut. Javert releases her and shakes out his hand and wrist, rubbing the smarting flesh tenderly. He bends closer to her, his voice lowering conspiratorially,]

I believe I will have a cramp in this arm for the rest of the day. Now, I saw it is very clean in here. I hope you have not hidden all of my clothing from me. I would prefer to go to work dressed, rather.

[Hey, you better return those later, husband. Somehow she doubts it will go over very well if he were to accidentally pull that particular pair of handcuffs out of his great pockets while out on the job.

-But before Naomi can give him back one of those witty retorts he was probably missing after so long, she pauses. Oh, there's the other part she'd nearly forgotten about...]

Well, I had no idea you'd wake up today, dear, you can't blame me for that. [Though this whole situation clearly puts a winning point on the doctor's side, Naomi isn't quite so sure how Javert will react to this new information.] I rarely get a chance to professionally clean your things, you're so attached to them. Your hat and coat alone get so filthy being worn everyday without pause, so you can't expect me to not grab that kind of an opportunity when it so infrequently rises.

Everything will be ready tomorrow morning, but for now... [Well, there has to be something in the closet.]

[Javert's expression slackens dumbly, and a hard, cold crust forms. He stares at her closely, as if to measure whether or not she speaks sincerely. Rather than offer a verbal response to the flash of horror inside of him, he sweeps (managing to be all at once majestic, militaristic and naked) to his feet and loots his armoire compartments like a forty-niner mining for gold.

All empty. Save for one.

At the last drawer he freezes, neck bent over to scour its innards.

Javert raises his eyes back to Naomi, brow arched with meaning.]

You are a vile woman, [he remarks casually with a rueful grin.] You must have the last laugh, eh? Fine, then! I will not have it bother me.

[He grabs the last remaining articles of clothing from his armoire and disappears into the bathroom for a quick wash.]

[And your lovely wife will just remain on the bed for now, laying back and waiting for her husband to reappear.]

[And reappear he does, like a day-glo welcome beacon at high noon.

Javert has washed up and dressed himself in the last remaining set of clothes in his armoire. They remained, of course, because he never wears them. Or he hasn't since a zoo trip (http://somarium.livejournal.com/613693.html?thread=43100221) with his "family" over one calendar year ago. Yes, indeed, Javert forbidding demeanor is tempered only mildly by a bright splash of pinks, oranges and blues in a Hawaiian-print top and a pair of muted khaki cargo shorts. His sunglasses are cradled gingerly in his breast pocket.

He folds his hairy arms across his broad chest.]

... It will do. For today.

It seems that I am missing only the camera-cord around my neck.

[Oh.

Oh dear. The slender woman had almost completely forgotten about this particular outfit she'd gifted to her husband so very long ago. Well, then again, it isn't as if she's ever seen it in this lifetime. It was actually from a false set of memories from over a year ago. Two lifetimes ago, to be exact.

Which is precisely why that Naomi, who is lounging quite comfortably on their shared bed with a pillow tucked behind her back, immediately begins to cackle the moment he steps into view. Isn't your dear wife so charming and sweet?]

Don't you look handsome today. [And another round of giggles as she sits up to smile at him.] I think with that on you'll be striking even more fear than usual into the hearts of those nasty criminals.

They won't even have a clue what they're dealing with.

Let's hope you are correct, [he grumbles, checking himself in the wall mirror again when Naomi bursts into a cackling fit.] And they will not laugh at me today. But if they do... Well!

[Javert casts Naomi a sidelong glance.]

Then I shall give them a reason not to.

[Actually, that almost sounds like it could be a grand time, indeed. If he is very fortunate, than those street rascals will not recognize him at all until after he has ensured their arrest. It suits Javert's taste for dramatic captures very well. There is an indecipherable twitch at the corner of his mouth.]

My boots. Did you snatch them as well?

VIDEO ✍ 008 --> Lari's Return from Hiatus

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